The KD Knight Show (aka the Manatt Commission of Inquiry)

A satirical conversation on the Manatt Commission of Inquiry, excerpted from Facebook…

Las May, Jamaica Gleaner, January 19th, 2011

As the world turns Jamaicans, are glued to the live broadcast of what i call the KD Knight Show, aka the Manatt Commission of Inquiry. A semi-judicial reality show of no mean order Jamaica’s legal heavyweights have finally attained their share of the videolight and boy are they revelling in it. The Inquiry is investigating the circumstances leading to the extradition of  former Don Christopher ‘Dudus’ Coke in June last year.

Manatt/Dudus Enquiry Is Like A Circus Or Talent Show? Clovis, Jamaica Observer, February 15th, 2011

Meanwhile most witnesses called to the stand are tight-lipped and suffering from memory lapses (most notably the Minister of Security, Dwight Nelson). Pity you can’t just plug in extra memory modules to boost their recall. If nothing else the Inquiry has generated some hilarious political satire such as this Facebook conversation below. All names have been changed to protect the identity of the participants.

SW

March 7, 2011

Hear Ye, Hear Ye…we have some Limited Edition Manatt Enquiry stuff for sale….’silent auction’ cos we caan afford wi wake up d ‘Asst Page Turners’…Link me een mi inbox for samples….(ef oono c Dennis Brooks a advertise nuttn no buy e…a teefn goods)…anyways….sen oono credit card come quick cos dem soon done.

LGY We have tings like “I don’t recall” T shirts in Green! “I don’t remember”T-shirts.., IN GREEN! We also have green t-shirts with Dudus face pon di front and a big X through it,and round the back the words “I do not know him”! ALL Green shirts are special edition!

Jamaica Observer, February 20th, 2011 During witness testimony at the Manatt/Dudus enquiry, Minister of National Security, Dwight Nelson, claimed that he did not personally know alleged Tivoli Gardens strongman, Christopher ‘Dudus’ Coke. Clovis.

OD lol…mi want a “It was not clearly in writing” shirt please·

SW We also have T-Shirts dat say “Subjunctive”…an nuff odder tings…we also ave ones dat say “you seem frustrated” (dese will ave Samuda pic on dem)…remember all dese are VERY LIMITED so oono urry up an sen on d money! (u wont regret the purchase)

LGW And we have some orange t-shirt whe sey “I saw the secret MOU”!

SW Yes Yols,,,,in dat dere package we will also have little dolls of the ‘Asst Page Turners’…u can put batteries in dem and dey will speak…albeit slowly but speak they shall…dey will even turn d pages for you & d controls will allow you to adjust d volume so dem can ‘whisper’…now dat oono affi order fast cos dem EXTREMELY LIMITED!!!!

LGY Yes people ah ongle two of dose dolly exist! Order dat now!·

CE Jr I just need the one dat say “Can’t recall”

CW I hear there are hats with”Cant Recall” on them

LGY yes Clyde we have those too! How much you want?

CW nuff as mi acting as agent (duly authorised) for a certain Central Committee

LGY ahright cool!

LGY soon set up your ting!

CW cool, cuz dem seh mi muss mek sure dat people tink seh is a certain Executive Council

LGY ok nuh fret man… it all look like dem, bad spelling and all! ·

CW a now mi wish dis was happening in a merca as di stand comedy circuit would be buzzing daily

CW lol lol lol mi side a at mi

SW Yols…..ef Clydey buy a good amount we can give him two ‘free’ shirt fi good measure…Clyde…u no waan d two dolly dem man?? cho!

LGY eeeh? Buy di dolly dem nuh? How yuh ah move tight suh? Ah mussi yuh name Harold Brady!

CW Whaaphen yuh nuh hab nuh puppets

CW a puppet mi whaan

CW mi whaan mek a gift to some heavy weights

LGY ah dolly we have, dem battery operated and do tings! Not much, but dem do tings!

CW k cuz u know what I know but yuh a gwaan like yuh waan oddas know

SW Clyde…anything u waan wi ave it…we will ‘custom bill’ e for u ongle….puppets we do ave….jus tell wi ow much u waan an mek sure u tek off d 2 dolly dem off wi Hands…u can go sell dem bak pon EBAY an mek NUFF NUFF money cos e price a go skyrocket by year end…wos wen election close!

LGY Yes I know that U know that I know what u know … I’m not daft!

CW dwrl unno have nutten weh mi can gi mis daisy shi seh she whaan gift it to r parson

SW oh…’DOLLY DISCLAIMER’…’Should this toy not meet your specifications or expectations…the manufactures CANNOT be held responsible….please address all concerns in that vein to Jamaica House’ (we do hope you get a response…ef not…hire a good lawyer or commission a COE)

AP or just hire us. Manatt, Phelps & Phillips, LLP. We are known for our extraordinary commitment to clients, for integrated, relationship-based services, and for a range of specialized capabilities typically found only in boutique firms. We are progressive and entrepreneurial compared to other major firms; and we are deeply committed to diversity, to public service, to involvement in the communities we serve and to excellence in all we do, including how to get around extradition requests…

Author: Annie Paul

writer, editor and avid tweeter anniepaulose@gmail.com

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